The Betty Crocker Project : Siesta Taco Soup

Oh. Steam on the lens. You are my nemesis today.

Some of you have been wondering where the frak we've been, and it's justified. I mean, seriously, it's been a week and we've been completely and unforgivably MIA. It really is a fair question to ask of bloggers who cook and post every day but who, without warning, disappear like magic. It's kind of nice to know that what you put out into the world would be missed.

Well, nothing scandalous happened. We weren't abducted by aliens or trapped under something heavy. We just went to a wedding. A charming and sublime DIY wedding at a breathtaking ranch in San Luis Obispo, CA. A wedding that I will gush about in another post, because last week I posted this photo of our Taco Soup in progress and there were so many messages and emails... well, I feel like you'd rather welcome September with a yummy soup recipe you can make in your slow cooker so you don't have to worry about heating up your home while fall is still more of an idea than an actual weather situation. I mean, I'd rather be eating this soup right now than pretty much doing anything else. So I get it.

If you take a look at Betty's Taco Soup, you'll see we took a lot of liberties... and since we made ours in the slow cooker it only seemed right to throw the 'Siesta' in there - sleepy little soup that it is*. If you're following along in your own copy of Betty's Big Red, you'll notice a few 'Feistas' thrown about from time to time on the Mexican-themed recipes. Which I actually kinda like. Those 'Feistas' are just the prefect level of campy. They remind me of something Mad Men's Betty Draper would serve to her kids during a break in her chain smoking. I'm not sure why that appeals to me, but in a weird way it totally does.

Taco Soup might not sound that good at first, but much like its friend Pizza Soup, it's surprisingly delicious and awesome. You might have to look over the ingredients to be won over. Here's just a hint of how good this soup is - if you slice your onions thin enough, they'll melt in the broth, making an onion soup flavor and texture that I actually described as "gorgeous" like a tween with a crush. Yeah - that really happened.

 So - Here's your rain check for an 'update' blog post about LA, Fashion Week in NYC, and a bunch of other random thoughts, rants and obsessions. Let's get this Soup Party started.

An Open Letter To My Fantasy Football Opponents

Sirs,

It gives me great displeasure to inform you that the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with my imaginary team will score more points via an arbitrarily-generated scoring system than the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with your imaginary team in the weekly statistical contests that shall began last night.

The athletic achievements of the modern-day gladiators waging a unwitting war at your imaginary team's behest are certainly worthy of praise. However, if one should take the time to execute a dispassionate comparison, one would find that my own squadron of behelmeted Ben-Hurs have performed in the past, and posses the capability to perform in the future, feats of physical prowess far surpassing those of yours.

Therewith, I submit to you my argument: that the professional football players unknowingly associated with my imaginary team will score more points via an arbitrarily-generated scoring system than the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with your imaginary team. You have now been duly notified of this matter.

Good day.

The Betty Crocker Project : Buffalo Chicken Wings

NBA Playoffs - Where vegan Big Baby Hot Wings happen. . .

Welcome to the shameless Meet The Shannons/NBA Playoffs cross-promotion. Though not as shameless as this one - at least ours makes sense. 

When I married an Irish-Italian boy from Boston I knew what I was getting into - unlike the Miami Heat this week. They may have thought that since Kevin Garnett was suspended they had a chance. Even the die-hard Boston fans were like : "How will we live without him?"

What they didn't count on was Big Baby Davis stepping up and proving to us all that just because someone or something is a substitute doesn't mean they can't BRING IT!  Just like these faux chicken wings - that we have renamed  Big Baby Hot Wings. . . because even The Heat have nothing on how hot they are!

• 1 Package of your favorite Fake Chicken on/and skewers ( We went with these Chicken Drumsticks from May Wah that are very similar to these but are not "spiced" - but I think this recipe would work just as good with Chicken Seitan or  Morningstar Chikn Strips on bamboo skewers or toothpicks. The Fake Chicken should be put on the skewers AFTER being coated in the Flour mix. Fake Chicken should be defrosted. )
• 2 Tablespoons Margarine 
• 1/2 Cup Whole Wheat Flour
• 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
• 1/4 Teaspoon Pepper
• 1 Cup of your favorite BBQ Sauce
• 2 Tablespoons of Hot Sauce 
• 1 Teaspoon Cajun Seasoning  
• 1/4 Teaspoon of Liquid Smoke
• 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin 
• 1 Bottle of Tahini or Vegan Ranch Dressing
• Celery Sticks, Carrots or other raw veggies

Preheat oven to 425.

In a 13x9 pan, melt the butter in the oven. In a large zip lock bag, mix Flour, Salt and Pepper. Put the Fake Chicken in the bag and shake  - 2 at a time - until the Chicken is completed coated. Place coated Chicken in the pan.

Bake uncovered for 3-5 minutes and then flip the Chicken to make sure it gets completely covered with the Margarine. It should take about 10 minutes for the Fake Chicken to be a golden color and have a crispy coating. . . If you are using smaller pieces of Fake Chicken - it will take less time - so keep an eye on them.

During that time mix BBQ Sauce, Hot Sauce, Cajun Seasoning, Liquid Smoke and Cumin in a bowl.

Once the Fake Chicken has a golden crispy coating pull it out of the oven and pour the BBQ mix over the Fake Chicken. Flip the Fake Chicken a few times to make sure it gets completely coated in the BBQ mix.

Bake uncovered for around 10-12 minutes. or until the BBQ Sauce reaches a desired moistness. . . some people like them more sticky than saucy.

Serve with Dressing and Veggies.

The Danannie Wedding

It has only been a few weeks and though they say things don't really change all that much after you get married . . . things are different . . . just the slightest bit better.

Not to brag or anything - BUT we had a pretty beautiful wedding that was actually fun and full of dancing, wine, lots of flowers, gnocchi, Tofurky, tattoos, smooth suits and cupcakes and it had a distinct lack of drama or real mishap. There was no unwanted crashers and just a slight threat of rain. And although we didn't have any of the hilarious disasters or heartbreaking mishaps that are so common amongst wedding themed cinema - At one point during the reception - I said to P.T. "I feel like this is the end of a movie. All these old friends from all over the world coming together on this one weekend and now we are all dancing and hugging . . . I feel like any minute now - we're ready for the camera to pull away into the credits . . . I'm ready for our happy ending now."

Or was it just the beginning. . . . DUHDUHDUH!