The Betty Crocker Project : Corned Beef-less Tips & Cabbage

Ugly? Fair enough.

I recently decided to never watch the movie Short Circuit ever again. I'll give you all a moment to recover.

Now before you all assume that I was afraid of the sentient robot who was originally built to be the ultimate weapon... that's not it. It's because I love this movie and I'm afraid it might not live up to my very kind memories. Also I have come to terms with the fact that Ally Sheedy might not actually be a very good actress and she already ruined WarGames for me last summer.

Now you're probably wondering what this has to do with this pretty traditional Irish American meal that is also known as The New England Dinner in Betty's cookbook. Well, back when I was a little meaty eater, I loved this dinner. This was a Betty recipe I both looked forward to and dreaded because I had such fond memories of this meal - I worried it would be impossible to veganize this recipe in any meaningful way. I mean we're making corned beef - that's salt cured beef if you're not familiar. This could have gone very wrong but it didn't. In fact it was a nice reminder of a dish I haven't had in like 20 years. Does it taste just like the meaty version? I would say 70% - which is enough to capture the spirit of this dish and make it a great dinner this St. Patrick's day. I mean this really made me happy and I'm kinda tough on myself - so that's saying something. I figure I got lucky with this one, why test my luck with a beloved robot movie. I mean didn't Short Circuit 2 do enough damage?*

Before we start marinading some Gardein, I want to make sure you remember to enter the latest Meet The Shannons Contest and check out The Official Shannon Family Desert Island Food List on one of my very favorite blogs : The Laziest Vegans in the World. We put a lot of thought into it and feel pretty good about our choices.What's on your list?

An Open Letter To My Fantasy Football Opponents

Sirs,

It gives me great displeasure to inform you that the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with my imaginary team will score more points via an arbitrarily-generated scoring system than the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with your imaginary team in the weekly statistical contests that shall began last night.

The athletic achievements of the modern-day gladiators waging a unwitting war at your imaginary team's behest are certainly worthy of praise. However, if one should take the time to execute a dispassionate comparison, one would find that my own squadron of behelmeted Ben-Hurs have performed in the past, and posses the capability to perform in the future, feats of physical prowess far surpassing those of yours.

Therewith, I submit to you my argument: that the professional football players unknowingly associated with my imaginary team will score more points via an arbitrarily-generated scoring system than the team of professional football players unknowingly associated with your imaginary team. You have now been duly notified of this matter.

Good day.