Thursday, May 13, 2010

Doc Rivers, Head Coach Of The Boston Celtics, Consults With My Wife During A Timeout

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ANNIE: Doc, I feel crowded in this kitchen because there isn’t enough counter space.

DOC: You’ve just gotta stay focused. Maintain your intensity in the kitchen. You’re a cook—this is what you do. If you stay focused, the tiny kitchen can’t beat you.

ANNIE: But our fridge is small too, so there’s no room for leftovers.

DOC: Look, we all want to cook this recipe. But we’ve got to do it together. OK? We’re trying to do it ourselves. We’ve got to do it together.

ANNIE: I’m all out of Supernatural since the new season isn’t on DVD yet. What am I supposed to do while I cook?

DOC: Just stay aggressive. I love your tempo right now. That’s who you are. That’s how you’re gonna win. Cook at your pace. Don’t cook at someone else's pace. Cook at your pace.

ANNIE: So we have this Aerogarden to grow herbs, but the basil has taken over and it’s choking out all the other herbs.

DOC: It’s a 45-minute recipe. OK? That’s all. Just cook the recipe for 45 minutes. That’s all you gotta do. 45 minutes. That’s all. Leave all the other stuff at home.

ANNIE: Percy keeps biting my ankles while I cook because he thinks it’s funny when I squeal. I’m worried I’m going to drop something on him.

DOC: Just stick to the game plan. Cook the recipe the way it’s drawn up. Percy’s going to try to draw you out of your recipe, out of your comfort zone. OK? Don’t let him. It’s your recipe. Just commit to it. You can make this vegan.

ANNIE: But there’s still not enough counter space.

DOC: Just maintain your intensity out there. Just stay focused. OK, bring it in. Energy, on three. Ready? One, two…


  1. I can do it Doc! I'll make you proud.

  2. seriously the best thing i have read in a long life would not of been complete without you two

  3. Why are the Boston Celtics pronounced with a soft c (like cell), but everywhere else the word is pronounced with a hard c (k-sound like kilt)?? I don't get that.

  4. This is ridiculously cute and hilarious. You can do it Annie! Give Percy a paper bag to sit on, that'll occupy him for a while as he awaits your adoration of his cuteness ;-)

  5. Anonymous, you know what, I honestly have no idea. I'd imagine because people are just kinda ignorant--the correct pronunciation is definitely with the hard C.

    In other news, the word "choke" is now pronounced "luh-brawn".